Beyond Battery-Operated:

Luxe Sex Tools and Body Positivity

Evocative objects by Adele Brydges. Photo by Minerva Siegel

Evocative objects by Adele Brydges. Photo by Minerva Siegel

My sex life has evolved along with my body positivity in a really powerful way. Virtually every aspect of my sexuality has been impacted by my rise in self-confidence. No longer do I have sex in the dark while attempting to minimize my body’s plus size jiggle however possible; I have uninhibited, fun sex with the lights on. I’ve also begun to carefully curate a collection of artisan sex tools, because, goddamnit, I deserve it. And you do, too!

I used to exclusively use inexpensive, mass-produced, silicone tools for self-pleasure. When shopping for sex toys, I’d ask myself questions like, Is it cheap? Does it vibrate? Then, we’re good! I thought all effective sexual tools had to offer some sort of vibration or battery-powered movement. As it turns out, there’s a whole world beyond sex toys that require batteries, and it’s absolutely marvelous.  

Taking the Art of Getting Off to the Next Level

The MARLENE Nude Mini Ball Choker, as worn by Minerva Siegel

The MARLENE Nude Mini Ball Choker, as worn by Minerva Siegel

Now, don’t get me wrong- I still think that battery-operated toys can be great. Like, sure, sometimes a babe’s just gotta get off, and plastic toys will do the job just fine! However, I’ve come to realize that I generally prefer sexual pleasure to be deeply fulfilling in a long-lasting way, and silicone toys just don’t cut it for me in that department.

I didn’t begin exploring artisan sexual tools until relatively recently. Honestly, I think part of the reason that I didn’t invest in better sex toys until now is because I didn’t think that I deserved them, or that I was even really worthy of them. How silly! Even masterbation was affected by my low self-esteem. I used to only see it as a means to an end. It wasn’t the involved, deeply-satisfying experience it is now; it was simply getting off.

Over time and through a lot of hard work, I’ve learned to love my plus size, disabled body just as it is. As I became more self-confident, I started wanting to explore physical pleasure in a deeper way. I realized I deserve to heighten my sexual experiences and solo pleasure sessions by incorporating objects that really resonate with me.

The relief and pleasure I feel from most sex toys is shallow and fleeting. When I use artisan tools in rich materials like natural crystal or porcelain, I’m inspired to be more conscientious about the entire sexual experience. I put more intent into my pleasure when I use luxe tools, and the orgasms I manifest can be felt deep in my bones. They leave me relieved, happy, deliciously content, and seeing stars. That, my darlings, is truly the name of the game.



Cultivating a Particular Aesthetic in the Bedroom

The Spur from the MARLENE collection by Adele Brydges. Photo by Minerva Siegel

The Spur from the MARLENE collection by Adele Brydges. Photo by Minerva Siegel

Cue my latest obsession: functional objets d’art by Adele Brydges. Brydges is a skilled artist, designer and ceramicist who makes non-porous, hypoallergenic, strong, beautiful porcelain works of art with a strong design aesthetic. The MARLENE collection, inspired by the ideology of the early 20th century Bauhaus design movement, features naturally attractive shapes created with a striking marble aesthetic in mind, which I am totally here for.

Aesthetics are incredibly important to me when choosing objects to incorporate into the bedroom. There’s artistry in my sex life, and I like the lingerie, accessories, and tools I use in the bedroom to reflect this. Much of my sex tool collection consists of luxe items in rich textures and natural, soft colors. While some people prefer their sex toys to be harsh and intimidating, I don’t, personally. I like the objects used in my sex life to be welcoming, pleasant, and comfortable, even during rough play.

The MARLENE Spur by Brydges is currently my favorite objet d’art. It has a permanent, prized spot on my bedside table, cradled in its handcrafted leather sheath made from responsibly sourced British lambskin. With a graceful curve and gradient girth, the Spur is a delightfully versatile ceramic tool that hits all the right notes. Beyond its pleasure potential, it’s an absolutely stunning piece of lovingly-crafted art. Brydges is a true artist, and the care and attention to detail that goes into every single piece she produces is inspiring. It’s an honor to own her work.

Playing with Weight and Temperature

The Prism Chakrub. Photo by Minerva Siegel

The Prism Chakrub. Photo by Minerva Siegel

Something I didn’t realize until I began experimenting with my first artisan sex tool, a crystal Chakrub, is that the weight of a sex toy can change the entire sensation quite a lot. My Chakrubs and Adele Brydges ceramic pieces are of a more substantial weight than the silicone toys I previously exclusively used, and this enhances the experience for me considerably. Playing with the temperature of artisan sex toys can also be rather thrilling. Personally, I love cooling my MARLENE Spur by Adele Brydges in a bowl of cold water before use.

Sexual objets d’art sans batteries can be thrilling, dynamic, and fulfilling in ways I’d never imagined. I love the world of artisan sex toys, and I’m so glad that I’m now comfortable enough in my skin to really let myself explore physical pleasure in a meaningful way. I’m thrilled to have found evocative objects by visionary designer and creator Adele Brydges. Her work is a staple in my collection, and I can’t wait to see what inspiring creations she comes up with next!

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P.S.: Adele Brydges Runs the Best Workshops Around!

The handcrafted lambskin sheath by Adele Brydges. Photo by Minerva Siegel

The handcrafted lambskin sheath by Adele Brydges. Photo by Minerva Siegel

If you’re in the U.K., you might be lucky enough to attend one of the marvelous workshops Adele Brydges periodically puts together, called Decorate-a-Dildo. Participants can sip Prosecco, snack on treats, and use enamel prints and decals to personalize their very own porcelain sex tool! I’m hoping she brings these workshops to the U.S. soon, because they sound tremendously fun!